Hello.

As much as a small content creator I am, and the following advise I had been told for a while. I need to sit back and take this all in. I'm a minor, learning individual and I believe that what I am about to say might damage other viewpoints about me. Truth be told right now, I'm in absolute distress. I have met and apologized to so many people for my past mistakes 2 years ago, and I wish I could contact more but alas that was all I could do as a person regardless if forgiveness was given to me or not. I'm..very confused, about how I see people, and how I associate with other people that are bigger than me. I feel like I'm two faced in the ranting community. And as this conflict continues to grow and I've seen those who I thought were friends began to fight each other over their well being, I'm upset. I don't know whether or not reputation means good to me or not. I don't know if I'm impacting people negatively. I don't know if what I'm currently doing is the right thing or not. I'm just...bewildered and confused. As if reality struck in me. There were times where I feel intimidated, and there were times when I questioned myself about what side I'm choosing to be on. And that if I had made a mistake or..if I'm too late to change my stance in things. Paranoia and fear plays a big game with me, something that isn't healthy when ranting, and as it grows so does my confusion. I've looked back at when I was a much smaller channel, a nobody beyond the Youtube Community, how no one noticed me who I was until I made an impact in their knowledge of understanding. And that's the thing. My mind changes views constantly, and I don't know who to trust or befriend anymore really. I love the people who I'm associated with, but sometimes my small community affects my relationship status with those I want to get to know. There where times when I felt uncomfortable when discussing about conflicts or when I'm private messaging someone, but if that certain conflict hurted people..I want to help them by spreading awareness rather than demote the harasser. I focus on the victims first, not the humiliation..but I don't want to justify myself either. It's just so difficult to speak your mind when your intentions switch due to your influencers. I went back and looked at my channel to see if that is true, and there is a difference between the Neogrant rant..and the Twisty-Grim one. I looked at who subscribed to me, and rarely have I seen anyone I've associated with like my content and subbed. I don't know anymore. This ranting community drama is messing with my head. Have I really pushed people away on Discord...have I hurt them due to this. Am I becoming a true ranter? Are you fucking kidding me..?

I have avoided these videos, for a long time due to rumors, and experiences, and their bad reputation...and when I finally had enough balls to go and have a look on my own terms; without looking at the comments..or screenshotting comments..or some advise/rumors from other users...


It's...I don't know what to say or who I believe anymore. I don't want to note people and hide my opinions anymore. I'm TIRED of this. I'm TIRED of faking a smile...

If I do something that might be terrible in the future..or "hypocritical"...I want to let you know something. I only got involved to represent those who didn't have an audience to speak with in the first place, REGARDLESS of how popular or how underrated the person I have conflict with is. If I have beef with someone due to my past mistakes, I'll fucking own to those mistakes. I promise myself that I would in order to make the long lasting sting of a grudge go away. So let me make this clear, since at this point I'm in a very emotional state.

If I ever hurt you 2 years back or now, in any way. Please, note me, or contact me through someone I know. I want to apologize. I don't care if the grudge is too strong or that it's too late. I want to make an attempt at least. I'm scared of forgetting who I've hurt after all these years. And I don't expect forgiveness and will respect your space if possible.

Mimidiggz#4060 - My Discord.

But I won't be kind to those who still treat me like a piece of garbage...heh.

And to those who are threatened by this journal in anyway or think that your in danger of breaking your relationship with me for your rep, don't worry, I'm still a neutral, but I better see some damn improvement in your hearts. You know who you are. I hope for the best in all of us when the heat blows over.

 izzebizze  thank you.

I'm still in the process of Simply's video, which may take a while for me to remove bad judgement from him. A long while. Sorry. ;v; Edit: That was sum gud shit boi thank you for making me feel guilty af ahhaa I apologize for my behavior back in the SavDraws incident as well. I wish I could meet you face to face.

TLDR: I'm a confused child about the ranting community drama and am judging associates with caution. Also attempting to make peace treaties and sucking eggplants like there's no tomorrow.